From Chaos, You Will Cultivate Peace
Back when my brother had pursued art class in high school, he owned this artist chest of various mediums, and when he had graduated, those items were left untouched. Growing up, I knew from a young age I had been brought up in a household of people who didn’t know how to express their emotions and opinions adequately, and when you’re young, you’re at your creative peak.
Rest assured, I drew a lot in kindergarten and daycare. Withstanding art took up a majority of the activities you would do, but eventually, it became not just a hobby but a vice that had to help me through arguments going in the background. Everything turns into white noise when I pursue art.
Every time I pick up a pencil or a paintbrush, my hand would move with my mind; it was and still is evident in the ways that I struggle to draw in straight lines as it is instinctive and habitual of me to draw in jagged motions due to my anxiety. When filling in gaps and spaces, I’d have to go back and correct my work, ensuring it is the shape I’d like it to be. Otherwise, I will let it be for the sake of what I am trying to display.
When my paintings are finished, up close you’ll notice there’s a subtle build-up of paint pigment creating bumps on the canvas on works that weren't sketched out at first given.
When painting, I don’t aim for perfection—I aim for the vision that sticks with me and the feeling I am trying to convey, and I don’t rest until it is how I’d like it.
Colour is detrimental to my thought process. I work in colour because, as someone who also harbours depression, I want to change the rhetoric that those diagnosed with a mental illness see the world in dim lighting or black and white. When you’ve suffered, you want to see the world in technicolour. You want to see a brighter future.
My work is heavily influenced by an esteemed but tortured artist, Van Gogh. There’s an intensity of harboured emotions and an omnipresence of the mind constantly thinking and visualizing.
As an artist, I would like to be an inspiration. Not all artists have a story. Therefore not all paintings have a story. But as someone who has lived to tell the tale, I want people to know that the experiences you’d label as baggage can turn into something beautiful and an extension of who you are.
My mantra has always been: “From chaos, you will cultivate peace.” From a young girl who needed a way out, I dealt with the cards I have been given. I practiced on my own. I was never taught, and I transformed my emotions into a passion that motivates me. I want to encourage others and leave those who look at my art with a message: no matter the upbringing, you are capable of bringing colour and beauty into this chaotic world.
Submitted by Jenn Alcantara.